ethoughts weekly- Issue 177

SEPT. 2, 2007

Slingshot

I went on a slingshot ride recently. I was strapped into a metal sphere cage. They coiled the springs, and then shot me, and a pushy (read convincing) accomplice, 225 feet in the air at 100 miles per hour, in two seconds, at five times the force of gravity. We then spun around a bunch of times quite rapidly, bounced down a good bit, bounced back up, and spun again. We were high enough to see for many miles. 100 miles an hour in two seconds feels rip-your-heart-out fast.

It’s one of those things you can talk yourself out of doing. I always had. It’s also one of those things you can talk yourself into doing too, if you say, “When will I get do try this again?” One’s brain wars against itself. The reasonable part says to not spend the money, and there’s no need for such foolishness, or peril. The other part of the brain likes to experience things that go fast. Sometimes what breaks the tie is someone pushing you literally down the ramp, and into the metal cage. I was reluctant. My screams could be heard for miles once they launched us. Nevertheless, I’m glad I did it. Just the first five seconds, or so were scary. I thought I might be knocking on heaven’s door, with my head.

When was the last time you motivated some one? I mean in a good way, of course-- Not in a near-death experience way.

I think we have within our power, the capacity to stimulate important change, growth, and new experiences, with those who trust us. I think part of our responsibility as good friends is to see the potential in others, and cultivate it.

To the best of my knowledge, with most of the people that have been close to me over the years, I've tried to do this in some way. I don’t even think I did it on purpose at first, but once I realized this kind of human development appealed to me, I have done it very consciously. I guess I’ve figured it’s sort of my job. It’s wonderful to see people learn, grow, and achieve new heights! (That was not a reference to the slingshot. I have not and won’t be encouraging that.)

In my experience, if I see that some one is good at some thing that may be under-realized, and I think they will believe me, (because we are in a relationship of mutual trust,) I try to tell them what I notice, and try to encourage their tendency or gift. I genuinely hope to see it reach a fuller potential. I’d like to be better at this. I’d like to really figure out more fully how various kinds of people work, in order to help them. I’d like to be more consistent too. I know I let life get in the way. I don’t always follow through in ways I’d like to do. But, I wonder if many of us fail at this. Do we find enough ways to make each other better, as a general rule? We find lots of ways to criticize. We tend to complain at a good rate. We find all kinds of ways to be opinionated, but that’s not at all the same thing. Optimism is to be out in full bloom if it's going to work. We can’t miss that part.

If we can be motivators and encouragers to others, we will absolutely be slingshots in their life. It involves finding the best in someone, and loving that about them, enough that they will soon love it too. It involves the tougher thing of a foundation of trust too. It’s not enough to be a kind person, or say nice things. I don’t think too many people will listen for too long, if we haven’t earned the right to come into their heart, and speak truth to it. I think people get suspicious of seemingly random compliments. Flattery and encouragement seem related. Encouragement can looks a lot like flattery; and flattery always seems slippery and unsettling.

Earning our right into the heart, comes by uncommon things, and toilsome things, like authentic humility, patience, self-sacrifice, and grace. So many times we are not safe people. We just are not safe enough. How can a person ever think they will be slingshot up to something better, if they don’t feel buckled in with you? Maybe we operate more like "loose straps kind of people". I’ve been a strapless person really. I’ve failed at this whole thing. I can tell you, it won’t do a bit of good. Trust buckles you both in, nice and tight.

When was the last time someone helped slingshot your life? Why did it work? See if you can capture the “why”, and replicated it for someone else in your life. Chances are it had a lot to do with fanning a flame, and goodness. It likely had much to do with letting you be you, and believing in the best inside of you. Be a slingshot person this week. If it works, drop me a line. I'd like to know about it. Best wishes.

-Lisa

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Lisa DeLay

©2007