ethoughts weekly- Issue 155

April 1, 2007

Movie Review

I saw the movie Reign Over Me this week.

It is a movie about the friendship of two guys, Alan and Charlie. In a nutshell, Alan stands by his eccentric, wounded and sometimes-frustrating friend, Charlie, and slowly Charlie opens up, and gets a bit better. It sounds like a chick flick, but it’s more of a movie about loyalty. That’s not just for girls, right?

Charlie, Alan’s former college roommate, is stuck in a strange and reclusive world of pain, after losing his wife and three daughters in the doomed Boston plane on September 11th. Alan randomly runs into Charlie, and knowing very little of the life he lost. Alan is stuck is his own strange and solitary world too. But, it is a reticent and mundane life. His painless ordinary life is unfulfilling, but he doesn’t realize his need to improve himself until Charlie has the courage to deal with his pain. With some male bonding, and genuine care for each other, both friends start to come into a better kind of life.

This is really a break out role for Adam Sandler, as Charlie. It could probably be compared with Robin Williams break out role in The Fisher King, which revealed to most people that the comedian could be taken seriously as an actor. Now Sandler has come into his own, in much the same way. I think we will see more dramatic roles from him in the future because of this film. Though wisecracks remain, but they are overshadowed by the theme, and journey of the central characters.

Oscar-nominated, Don Cheadle, who already has over twenty years worth of real acting chops in television and film, is convincing. Jada Pinkett Smith plays Alan’s wife; and Donald Sutherland, Liv Tyler and others round out the cast well.

This movie, I happily discovered, didn’t over-reach. I thought it would throw in too many cute or sophomoric jokes, or to try to manipulate too many tear-jerking emotions, but it really didn’t. It’s not a flawless film, but it’s persuasively touching, and the performances are solid. The overall message tells us that helping and standing by a friend, even one who have complicated and painful “issues” is important, and worth it, and the whole journey of that will make you a better person too.

Through seeing the film, and in subsequent conversations about it, it also helped me solidify an understanding that we all grieve, and work through our problems in different ways. Sometimes we get stuck in our pain, but we all need grace to progress through our pain, as we are able. It’s easy to impose our expectations on other people, and believe they should react and deal we things just like we would. This is not just unfair, but it can hurt their progress. It can break their trust.

Building trust over time, while we encourage bravery and growth will help them, bit by bit. And that’s far more important than personal preferences or presuppositions. Even when we have their best interests in mind, we don’t always have the right answers. People deal with pain in very individual ways. Understanding and adjusting to that is part of what good friendship is all about.

Reign Over Me is a positive movie. I think it will do well in theatres, and even better on DVD. Some strong language, and a few adult topics are discussed which qualify it for its PG-13 rating. My rating is 3 1/4 out of 4 stars. Have a good week.

Lisa DeLay

©2007